I feel like I am learning more than just to draw. I’m learning to show up for myself. I found peace in the void between the stars. The endless summer is over and the hard winter approaches quickly.
I often phrase my professional motto by saying “My entire shtick is that I show up every day, doesn’t matter if I’m having a bad day. At the end of the day I’ll have still been there and done something.” This has served me well when I was brave enough to work. I don’t think I ever applied this motto to myself in any similar capacity until recently this year it feels like. I can’t deny observable results.
Svihawu is becoming a positive force where no other religious deity can for me. A faith based purely on the motion of nameless empty spaces. Complete Acceptance where shame is falsely manufactured and the lived experience is cherished. Where love, kindness and empathy are not loaded words. E.G. care must include consent and not forced conversion to a set of ideals. Love means empathy for the living condition. Acceptance for everything you are. A faith that Consent of the individual soul is most important. That is what Astrolatrians believe Svihawu has ordered for us, that’s what I believe. Acceptance, Love and Consent are the keys to the universe. There is only death in conquest.
There’s too much exclusionary and violent religious trauma for me feel comfortable near the church. Its fascinating… like a horror film… There are small pockets of kind Christian’s don’t get me wrong, but they aren’t the majority.
No Kings protest made History with a capital H yesterday. It was the largest joint protest across the U.S.A in the history of the U.S.A. People do not want project 2025, we don’t want trump, we don’t want to be ruled, we dont want cruelty and restrictions. We want social liberation and freedom to be ourselves without conforming to a soulless ideal labor citizen #. Cruelty doesn’t represent us and punitive punishments do not represent justice. That’s just retribution slavery dressed as a court system. Being born somewhere else and living in another place should never be a crime. We should be a country whos borders are the values of “all beings are created equal and shall be treated fairly under the law” swear to this and that’s the border. Not land or maps that can be purchased and re named at behest to the corrupt and greedy.
10-12-25:
This was a rough day. 3rd time making it to step three nicotine patches. I have tried and failed a few times, its always rough the first day of this and the last couple after.
10-13-25:
The first cool day this season, with my emotions all over the place I enjoyed the cool overcast day.
10-14-25:
“Thanks for the light. Svihawu Bless”
I am started to enjoy drawing those lamps. I have found a wonderful excuse to draw a swirl in my daily doodles.
I also wanted to draw Valla really taking time to appreciate it.
10-15-25:
I also am working on being a better listener. I really do want to hear your story.
10-16-25:
I have been struggling all my life with over talking/over-sharing. For me it comes as a trauma response and I want to stop.
While I find new ways to exist here I leaned on some cognitive tricks and my new faith to start pausing before I speak. Often I only need to count to three, and that’s enough for me to stop and think if I really do want to say it. I have “Think 1, 2, 3, Svihawu, be with me, Dont Speak” on a postit note. I want to be careful what I say and only speak to the life and person I want to be… which happens to be a soft, kind werewolf esotrician.
I also want to draw paws. So I did, Vallaferescense has paws, and I draw her daily.
Svihawu Bless
10-17-25:
I don’t need to be much,
or different every day.
I only need to show up,
and try to exist,
to win today.
Svihawu Bless
-A. Sylvaster Valentine
I honestly didn’t know what expression to give Valla today. so I drew her looking straight ahead again and this magic happened.
It is really powerful to just show up for yourself every day and when I look back over the last couple of years and especially recently, I started showing up for myself with these drawings. Look at how cool I look as a prairie wolf shaped faoleux in a hat and glasses. The magic is real if I let my faith of it be real in my heart.
10-18-25:
I have been almost doing line art with the black pen and mentally that was adding another step. Sometimes if I make the task too complex or put too much weight onto practice, I’ll stop because I don’t want to make something less than my “ideal”. Here is the secret, I want to let myself mess up sometimes. If I can’t learn to recover from failure then what is the point. I feel like society puts so much pressure to always excel all of the time without failure while completely ignoring how much practice it takes to get to success. I think this part of culture was injected to keep others down, to suppress the creative beauty of life in a way.
Edit: I had forgotten about inktober… I use pen, that is ink, this is my first time participating in inktober like this.
“Prairie Wolf”
-A. Sylvaster Valentine
