October Update: ~2 months of drawing every morning.

These sketches have been an uplifting force in my life. I feel that I am learning and in ways I am learning to be kind to myself.

I started drawing Valla as just a prairie wolf, but she has always been a Faoleux. I’ll reveal more on that as I write more. Here is a summary of what I have so far.

Basically Valla is one of these and has a more dragon like tail with a pouf on the tip. The faoleux animal kindom in Infinite Evermore is diverse with a rich history. Ancient faoleux obsessed with ascension and universal expansion. Those ancients created many of the species we see today from themselves. Other species of faoleux came about due to planetary isolation over hundreds of thousands of years. The species group Valla is part of is called Naktaluf [for nectar leaf] and it may be easier to summarize what she is as an organic 4D being similar to the Tardis from Dr. Who but without time travel. They typically live in hives and connect conceptually to each other but Valla is a runt and was exiled at a young age. I enjoy thinking about her on adventures elsewhere in evermore and the kinds of friends she meets.

I also filled up an entire journal and started another, writing is also part of this healing exercise.


The “real” world is still scary to bear witness to and its very difficult to hope. I want to try to be positive anyway.

10-1-25:

Here we have Valla trying to tell you a secret. I was feeling more light hearted and wanted to imagine her saying “yinglet” but not in language or words, just saying the entire concept of “yinglet” as a whisper. I find the concept of this humorous. She could just be projecting.

*Yinglets come from the webcomic Out of Placers https://www.valsalia.com/

10-2-25:

“I want to learn how to draw creatures, Svihawu” -A. Sylvaster Valentine.

I write these prayers sometimes. Doing it helps. I used to like the idea of religion, well, that there was something … else… Christianity decided long ago to carry the false knowledge of shame in disparagement to our kind. I refused this shame, endured their violence and was cast out. But it has gotten interesting lately. The Astrolatrian faith is one of the many faiths present in Valla’s universe, the universe of Infinite Evermore. I’ve decided she prays too. In a way through her I join in this faith to Svihawu, the infinite cosmic motion of the universe. I do want to learn to draw creatures, so very much.

10-3-25:

“I hope today goes smoothly, Svihawu” – Addaru Sylvaster Valentine

I had a big day, an important day. I legally changed my name. I was understandably stressed because a few years ago, I took an oath to the void between the stars to never take my hat off, to stand before even Svihawu and say “I think this thing on my head is neat, I have no shame.” In a more reverend setting I may share this oath out loud and was prepared to if they made me on that court room call. The judge didn’t require such. I was just as well dressed as any of the lawyers and it went well.

10-4-25:

“I had a dream about the Great Journey again, Svihawu. Why do I feel this way?” -A. Sylvaster Valentine.

All my life I have had these very vivid dreams. Most of which I am just a feral prairie wolf hiding in the shadow with strange magic that can be used but never shown. Occasionally I will have a dream that is like a massive obstacle course ascending a peak with visuals similar to the horizon of a halo ring. Anyway the challenges are just everything I have struggled with in my life in order but I am doing them as a wolf, with paws, I still do them and there’s more.

I should also mention, time works differently in my dreams. As I practice writing I might be able to describe how its possible to experience days of decades and centuries as memories in a dream.

10-5-25:

“Hello from Evermore, Svihawu” – Addaru Sylvaster Valentine


Valla is a much better dream, she’s saying hello into a security camera on an elevator. I think the effect is interesting when looking at this drawing through a large glass orb. It is hard to capture in a still image and get the angle right.

“Hello Valla”

10-6-25:

“If I think about thick tales long enough. They’ll happen. Svihawu, Bless.” – Addaru Sylvaster Valentine


I feel like my paradigm and attitude towards my sketches and doodles is changing. I am drawing more of my soft girl Valla even more of her tale too. I am still learning and have so much yet to learn.

10-7-25:

“and paws too?” – A. Sylvaster Valentine

This was in response to yesterday’s sketch where I said if I thought about it hard enough I could do it. And yes, Paws too!

10-8-25

“Even if I don’t quite like my work at first. I need to take a step back and look at what I learned having done it” – Addaru Sylvaster Valentine.

I feel like I am now pulling positivity out of the void itself from nothing. I have these stories and Valla. And I am seeing my own improvements. Just doing one thing a day builds over time.

I still get pulled back into this dark reality we all share however. I only recently left Illinois and voted for Pritzker. When they get out there and spew those lies about my neighbors, its terrifying because the truth is anything but whats on TV. “I’m worried the civil war is starting. You can’t arrest governors based on lies and fake news” its truly horrifying to bear witness to the shear amount of gaslighting being levied at anyone who opposes unquestionable authority the likes of which banned using the dictionary definition for what they are to denote what they are. [bearing witness to this agenda is nothing short of psychological torture]. So what are you supposed to do when you can simply go outside and see the difference in reality. What even is real if the observed truth is not a “real” truth and lies are law to be repeated? I’m horrified by the actions taken against the innocent because of the color of their skin or the sound of their voice for crimes I do not think should even be crimes. They zip tied children and shot a pastor.That is likely why they lie about folks like me too.

10-9-25:

“Svihawu, I press harder when I make mistakes. I need to learn to be more gentle when I’m not perfect” – A. Sylvaster Valentine

I got my multicolored pen out, made brown pancakes with it and drew a few cute fall things. Or did I draw Valla praying the concepts of these things. I really enjoy every time Valla communicates the pure concept of something.

10-10-25:

Maybe its okay,
to make bold mistakes.
Why do Pride and Shame
dance together so tightly?
Svihawu Bless.

As I slowly sketched this, I kept thinking. I wonder when its going to be undeniable that I enjoy certain concepts found in “cosmic horror” type themes. Vallaferescense herself is a shape shifting 4 dimensional organic space ship shaped like the prairie wolf variant species of a faoleux in the 3rd dimension. The lamp was a rotated tesseract I was drawing. It looked cooler as a lamp. now I know that if I draw a tesseract on 2D it makes drawing cool lamps easier. They probably have a name for that style of luminary but haven’t learned it yet.

– Addaru Sylvaster Valentine

10-11-25:

Svihawu, My faith in you
has given me strength
to accomplish anything [at all].
May this Faith grant
the Courage and Fortitude
To be Kind and Gentle.

I’m doodling more now, just in general. When I can’t think of anything to draw Valla doing, I can draw her praying because I want too. Sometimes I write what Valla says.

“I’m glad I’m worth drawing everyday”

And those words resonate, maybe I am glad I’m worth being dreamt as part of this grand dream.

Svihawu Bless,


“Prairie Wolf”
– A. Sylvaster Valentine.