Prarie Wolf – ASV

September… Overcoming hate and existential fear.

Written by

A. Sylvaster Valentine

in

September was a very rough month. My journal took the brunt of my existential fear. I wasn’t able to keep my hopes above the fear most days. The anti-trans lies and rhetoric in the news has me terrified. I don’t want to go outside. I don’t feel safe. Its worse in the country. I’m so glad I’m in a city now and not down south or alone.

I learned 20 years ago in high-school that bullies can do awful things without consequence or notice. I observed that if I said or did anything mean or disparaging toward them I was seen as worst than anything they did to me. This is because while I was being tormented, others pretended not to see it, or cheered for the intentional suffering. The bullying is larger now. It didn’t get better, it got worse.

I have to remind myself the hard truth of believing in basic unconditional human rights and having unconditional empathy to all for our shared mortal condition. Its frustrating, its difficult, its painful……To not wish harm to those who’s cruelty to you has no limit.

There is no moral step to stand on lowering the social standard below mortal dignity. Be Better.

I’ve been watching the planets fade before dawn in the morning. The stars don’t care I come dressed as me. It feels safer to stay in and hide during the full moon. I don’t feel brave enough to go out. I’m trying to stay disconnected from the news cycle but its hard right now. Maybe October will be more hopeful. I kept doing daily sketches in spite of how the world makes me feel. I didn’t think I would make progress or feel good. Putting this together let me see that I was wrong.

“I want to be positive but that is such a difficult task, Svihawu.”

“Prairie Wolf”
– A. Sylvaster Valentine.

A drawing of Valla with a hat and glasses and some leaves and an apple sketched in colored pen
9-2-25 – A. Sylvaster Valentine
A picture of Valla drawn with blue pen, the phrase "When it rains, remember who you are, how far youve come. " Signed Addaru Sylvaster Valentine written to the right.
9-3-25 “When it rains, remember who you are, how far you’ve come. ” -Addaru Sylvaster Valentine
A blue sketch of valla in a hat and glasses. Drawn from the side looking up to the left with the phrase "Svihawu, Today is hard. Its not easy existing. But it is something and I'm not ready for nothing. -A. Sylvaster Valentine. "
9-4-25 “Svihawu, Today is hard. Its not easy existing. But it is something and I’m not ready for nothing.” -A. Sylvaster Valentine.
Valla sketched in blue wearing her typical squashed hat and round glasses the phrase " . . . - A. Sylvaster Valentine" written to the right
9-5-25 “…” -A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla looking hopeful up and to the right. Standard Vallawalf attire squashy hat and glasses.
9-6-25 – A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla Sketched looking forward, worried.
9-7-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine
Its Valla again, well dressed and sketched in blue facing off to the left, looking shady towards the viewer.
9-8-25 A. Sylvaster Valentine.
Valla sketched in her squashed hat looking through those round glasses right at you with the phrase. "I'm not a gamer, really... Hard mode is an accident" - A. Sylvaster Valentine.
9-9-25 “I’m not a gamer, really… Hard mode is an accident” – A. Sylvaster Valentine.
A sketch of Valla, my fursona in blue ink with the phrase "Be Positive, Its difficult" Addaru Sylvaster Valentine
9-10-25 “Be Positive, Its difficult” A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla sketched in blue pen with black highlights in her hair. looks like a breeze is picking up and blowing all her fluff to the left.
9-11-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla Sketched with a smirk, hat squashed as ever. signed A. Sylvaster Valentine.
9-12-25 “…” -A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla looking up at her squashy hat
9-13-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla sketched facing forward looking up to the left. The phrase "Maybe its okay to draw the sadness - A. Sylvaster Valentine" written to the right.
9-14-25 “Maybe its okay to draw the sadness” – A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla sketched staring forward with a mildly pleasant look on her face. So Stylish in a flat squashed hat and round glasses.
9-15-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla is Sketched here turned to the left looking to the distance. The phrase "How do you live in a world where the truth is a lie. Svihawu Save us - Addaru Sylvaster Valentine" written to the top right.
9-16-25 “How do you live in a world where the truth is a lie. Svihawu Save us” – A. Sylvaster Valentine”
Valla in her floppy hat facing up and to the right. The phrase " I want to exist, Svihawu - A. Sylvaster Valentine" written to the top right.
9-17-25 ” I want to exist, Svihawu” – A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla sketched looking straight forward. Signed A. Sylvaster Valentine.
9-18-25 “…” A- Sylvaster Valentine
Valla sketched facing to the left looking to the right with a blank attitude. Signed, Addaru Sylvaster Valentine.
9-19-25 “…” A. Sylvaster Valentine
Here we have the wonderful Prairiewolf shaped Valla Sketched in blue. Sporting a partial smile, round glasses and a flap squashed cap.
9-20-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine
A sad sketch of Valla looking down. The phrase "its hard to create on sad days - A. Sylvaster Valentine" written to the right.
9-21-25 “Its hard to create on sad days” – A. Sylvaster Valentine
Valla is sketched facing the left, looking to the viewer. The phrase "I feel I've only ever known family as lies and violence. Is that why i crave the kindness in truth, Svihawu? - A. Sylvaster Valentine" is written to the top right.
9-22-25 “I feel I’ve only ever known family as lies and violence. Is that why i crave the kindness in truth, Svihawu?” – A. Sylvaster Valentine
A blue sketch of Valla looking down and blue.
9-23-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine
A sketch of Valla wearing a flatcap and round glasses. She is facing down to the left looking back to the right. The phrase "Svihawu, Its hard to stay motivated. Its hard to heal - A. Sylvaster Valentine" is written in the top right.
9-24-25 “Svihawu, Its hard to stay motivated. Its hard to heal” – A. Sylvaster Valentine
A happier sketch of Valla facing to the left. She is showing of hew new earrings that add to her hat and round glasses style. The Phrase "I finally got my ears pierced, Svihawu. I think its rather something. Thank you Svihawu for letting me have anything at all - Addaru Sylvaster Valentine" is written to the top right.
9-25-25 “I finally got my ears pierced, Svihawu. I think its rather something. Thank you Svihawu for letting me have anything at all” – Addaru Sylvaster Valentine
Here we have a Happy Vallawalf. Sketched in blue she's grinning with here eyes closed and a paw brought near her face. In the background we see her tail. The Phrase "I feel better Svihawu, Thank you. - Addaru Sylvaster Valentine" is written in the top right.
9-26-25 “I feel better Svihawu, Thank you.” – Addaru Sylvaster Valentine
Valla is sketched in blue here, facing the left looking behind her to the right.
9-27-25 -A. Sylvaster Valenting
A sketch of Valla looking up to the right. She is both surprised and concerned. The phrase "Keep at it Vallaferescense, Its worth trying - Svihawu" Signed Addaru Sylvaster Valentine is written to the top right.
9-28-25 “Keep at it Vallaferescense, Its worth trying – Svihawu” – A. Sylvaster Valentine
Here we have a sketch of an Astrolatrian Sparkle star to the left. And Valla Sketched facing to the left and looking to the right. Her fangs are now more visible than ever. she is slightly concerned.
9-29-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine
Here we have Valla showing off her Faoluex tail fluff leaned forward with her arms crossed. she is looking ahead from under her squashed flatcap.
9-30-25 -A. Sylvaster Valentine.

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